Breakfast with Diet Coke

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It is quite simple to lose friends for holding a different opinion in today's quick-moving and merciless culture. Being an iconoclast in this setting is challenging; for those of us who dared to think differently, cancellation loomed.

You might be scowling in distaste right now if you belong to what I assume to be the majority of Americans. Many of you have already been brainwashed into the way of the bean.

which is to load dirty water with sugar and other good-tasting ingredients like milk and more sugar to make it taste like those ingredients combined with ass.

I am aware that there is an immediate solace waiting for me in my fridge when I wake up in the morning, overcome with dread, fury, and terror, the remnant of yesterday's shame clinging at the corners of my head like caught mucus in my throat. 

It must also be a can. The can is the perfect delivery system for Diet Coke, indeed for the majority of liquids, but especially for aspartame-based sodas.

The morning coffee serves primarily as a way for many of us to consume caffeine. This is true of Diet Coke, although compared to coffee, it has less caffeine. 

But when used in conjunction with food, particularly morning cuisine, DC really shines.

Warm, delicious, rich breakfast meals that are high in protein, cheese, and carbohydrates are the greatest. 

I am aware that some of this may be challenging to accept. When I attempt to argue this point in other venues, I get labels like "sick," "deranged," and "abominable."

 I don't know why people all around the world are so enthralled by the drinking of an objectively bitter concoction, but I have to admire the passion it engenders.

I can only hope that one day you will have the courage to attempt something new. I can't tell you how many times I've tried to swill your beans. I don't want to develop this taste; it's not for me. 

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